Choose Him

by Jessica Meador

If we're being vulnerable and honest, I would say my absolute favorite seasons of life are the ones where I am beat down and broken. I'm talking about the ones when your cries are so ugly that you can’t keep up with the snot running from your nose so you just let it run together with your tears. Cries so ugly that spit is collecting in your mouth cause you barely have time to breath much less swallow your spit. You may be reading and thinking, "Gross! Are you serious? This is your favorite season of life?" Yes those are my favorite, here is why.

For about 6 months I was praying “God, please put someone in my life who is a leader that who pushes me closer to you and I can just do life with them.” Then slowly a guy walked into my life. He was a cutie and loved Jesus!  "Is this who I was praying for???" My heart was so ready! Yes this is it--God answered my prayers! We got to know each other and the next thing I knew we were together. Things were going great! He was everything I didn’t even know I wanted. I was dreaming of marriage and was so excited. But then God had other plans. He threw in an obstacle. God told us it wasn’t the right season and we needed to break up…"Come on God! I thought this was your will?! I thought I was doing good?" I was so hurt. I didn’t understand. I started blaming myself and was so frustrated!

In this obstacle I had a choice to make: I could throw in the towel and say this is too difficult or I could embrace the arms of Jesus and know and believe that He is near to the broken hearted (Psalm 34:18). It is in the moments of hurt that I experience Jesus in a deeper way than I ever have before. Day by day, second by second he is teaching me. Teaching me about Himself and about myself. If you have never experienced God this way, where He comes so near to you...I wish I could loan you my heart for a day just so you can get a glimpse of how great our God is in our suffering. God doesn’t put band-aids on our hurts. No, He goes deep into the crevice of the wound, cleans and heals it! God is waiting to do big things in you. ALLOW God to display His power through you! Don’t quit when things don’t look pretty, because the same God that is on His thrown when everything is perfect in life is the same God on His throne when it looks like nothing is going to be okay.

Psalm 56:8

You keep track of all my sorrows.
    You have collected all my tears in your bottle.
    You have recorded each one in your book.
 
When obstacles come your way, SUBMERGE yourself in expectations for God, to go deeper than you EVER have! It is because of these moments of difficulty that I know Jesus more. Take a look at everyone’s life in the Bible, would you say it’s all rainbows and butterflies? No! God's power is displayed at the highest when we feel not in control, weak, hurt, and have no place to run. Jesus promises to never leave you  or forsake you. He is running this race with you--obstacles and ALL. Choose Him!